Hello my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
I've been following this community for a while, mainly because of my own qualms with having children but having nowhere in the church to actually come out and say it.
To me, children haven't become a blessing. Too many treat them as a rite of passage, a biological item of bling-bling we show off to show how much we love God, and in worst cases, a way to show that we're Christian and others are not.
I hear the usual arguments:
-"Children are a blessing!"
-"The Lord said go forth and multiply!"
-"We have to raise up a mighty army!"
-"That's what God made woman for!"
-"You must fulfill your purpose and please your husband!"
-"You are of the world if you don't want children!"
Honestly, to me, these bingo phrases fall into several categories of selfishness, idolatry, and subtle eugenics.
I'm told that I need to "want" children because I'm a woman. I'm told that I'm selfish for not wishing to give my womb to my husband. I'm told that I'm going to allow radical Muslims and atheists take over America if I don't reproduce.
I have an issue with the last comment, particularly because a lot of Christian people DO take this into consideration when they plan their families. It's not simply a matter of wanting a lot of kids. It is literally a matter of outbreeding other people. That is scary to me. That is not productive to me. That is not loving to me.
You're literally saying "I'll make more of me so there will be less of them!" It's a villainous thought because, if atheists were to say this, we'd be in an uproar about being oppressed.
I've been told countless times about Sarah and Abraham, about how she begged him for children, saying "give me children or I shall die." They use this as proof that women have a maddening desire for children. I would have one too, back in those days, because it was expected of women to bear children lest they be seen as cursed or as "untrue women." We're not living in those times now. We as women don't need to prove ourselves to society by breeding.
I've discovered that God's main purpose for me isn't simply in my womb; it is in my heart and my mind. I've taken to ministering to the homeless, and I find that a lot more fulfilling than getting impregnated every year and "raising up an army" under the notion that I should outbreed other people.
I'm told that I've taken a far too worldly, far too secular standpoint on pregnancy and children; I'm told that "good Christian women" love having children and fulfilling their duty as baby-makers. It doesn't matter what other types of service for Him I'm doing; if I'm not reproducing, I'm still the daughter of Eve, spawn of Satan, and a worldling. That type of persecution hurts.
I believe life is sacred, and that the ability for a man and a woman to come together and have a child is pretty awesome. But it's not the end all, because babies don't make everything better. Not all the time. Look at how many children are aborted, or worse yet, put into the catastrophic meat grinder known as the adoption system. This should be a testament of how parenting, pregnancy, and child rearing are not as easy for everyone as we've brainwashed ourselves into thinking.
That said, adoption is something I've been pondering since I was a child. Everyone deserves a chance at life, yes? If that's the case, we should give chances to those already born before we start popping out broods of our own in hopes it keeps "those other people" as minorities.
Sorry for the rant, but eh.