Adapted (for privacy) from a personal journal entry, and x-posted to pcos_childfree
For context: after a shamefully long period of unemployment, I was finally hired today. =D
...I did interview for another job on the same day, and I kind of hoped that I'd get that one instead, but it didn't work out like that. Oh well. Interesting thing that happened at the interview, though--the woman asked me if I had any kids. This right after saying that the job was flexible for those who had kids at home, needed to call in because they were sick, etc. Of course I told her no, thinking that that would be an asset to me since my not having kids means they're not going to detract from work. I was going to tack on that I wasn't married yet--which is not the point, since my fiancé aren't having kids even when we are married, but most of the time when a stranger is getting too nosy, this will quiet them down, because they're not going to encourage you to go into single motherhood. =P But this woman was one of those that won't let you get in a word edgewise (this is important)--other than asking when I could expect to hear from her, and how much it paid, I don't think I got to say anything more than two or three words at a time.
Well, anyway, I must have been a bit too enthusiastic for her tastes, because she was like, "Well, you're saying that like you don't want them!" Which I don't, but I couldn't interject that. She then went on to say that her own daughter (who, I gathered, is around my age or a bit younger) is still in the "puppy stage"--"She thinks it'll be easier to have a puppy than kids!"
I just kind of laughed that off, but really, if a dog is more work than a kid...YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG. I don't know if you're neglecting your kid or spoiling your dog rotten, but either way something is warped! So the daughter is Actually Quite Right in thinking that, IMHO.
Also, I was kind of shocked that she carried on with it--I can understand the question as it is relevant to a job (yes, I know, technically it's not legal to ask about an employee's personal life, etc etc, but I don't mind being asked to an extent, if it actually pertains to availability or whatnot), but to comment on a HIGHLY personal choice--assuming I've made the typical one, assuming I CAN make the typical one and don't have fertility issuse--IDK. It just irked me. And then calling it a stage
like I'll grow out of it!! >_<
Earlier today I ran across an LJ entry by a friend of mine. She was talking about starting a petition to make "Why are you single?" one of the socially unacceptable questions, like asking a stranger when she's due, or asking a woman her age. I think any questions about when a couple is going to have kids should be off-limits as well. She was talking about how the "why are you single?" thing is usually well-meant ("You're so cool/funny/awesome, I can't understand why no man has snatched you up!"), but it makes the person being asked think over the last painful breakup, or think that maybe there IS something wrong with them, etc. "When are you having kids?" is similar in that the asker has no idea about the circumstances--the person being asked may want them and not be able to have them, and be touchy about it, or maybe the couple is waiting to be in a better place financially, or like me, may just plain not think kids are the be-all, end-all of human existence. The thing of it is, it's not really their business why, and besides that, they're running the risk of bringing up a very painful subject in some cases. No, we don't have any kids. Period. That should be the end of it.
A) Does this qualify as a bingo? If so it'll be the first one I've gotten from a stranger!
B) Would you sign that petition? ^_-
C) Any other thoughts? I would really like to see more discussion going on around here!!