Welcome to the Christian Childfree community on LiveJournal. Sometimes being both can feel like being an odd duck in two different ponds. As the childfree by choice, we're in the minority in our faith, and oftentimes condemned for our choice to not "be fruitful and multiply." As Christians, we're also in the minority among the Childfree lifestyle, and it can get hard to hear the constant criticism, especially when we know from personal experience that the non-Christian CF are not exaggerating.
For now, the community membership is open, but I do ask that you abide by the first rule before joining: meet the two criteria required. If it should become necessary, at a later time, I will moderate joining and remove those who do not fit either criteria.
Before you join, please: 1) You must be Christian by the definition of having accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior. That is all. Everything else is just details, and between you and God. I don't care if you're straight, gay, monogamous, polyamorous, pro-life, pro-choice, traditional, orthodox, extremely unorthodox, Catholic, Protestant, Quaker, LDS, Pentecostal, human, otherkin, liberal, or conservative. All I ask is that if these topics come up, discuss them civilly. I live in a pretty glass house and so I'm not about to start throwing stones, and I'm not going to permit anyone else to do so either. We are all here because we love the Lord, and we are Childfree. Nothing more, nothing less.
In short, the only definition I'll hold 'christian' to is outlined in these verses: John 3:16, John 10:9, John 12:47, and John 14:6.
2) You must be childfree by choice. Period. Fencesitters are welcome, especially among the Christian community, if people need advice and prayer to figure out if having children is meant for them or not. It's hard to get sound counseling and prayer guidance in the regular Church on this topic that's not geared toward breeding. (There is a solitary exception for church and ministry leaders, outlined in this post.)
Childfree by choice is defined as not wanting children, now or ever. You can like 'em, you just don't want them, whether by birth or by adoption. Period. (Not wanting them, and being realistic that life's not always fair and oh, for example, being willing to take on a sibling's kids in the event of an emergency rather than letting them go into foster care are two different things. This willingness for compassion will not count someone as not CF.) And not everyone here has to like children.
If you're Christian by the above definition of the word, and Childfree by choice, we'd love to have your participation.
1) No flamewars. I shouldn't have to point out there's four huge hotbutton topics: Sexual Orientation, Politics, Abortion, and Religious Doctrine. Not everyone here will agree on all of these issues. No one here has the right to judge another. Period. Only God has that right. Only God knows where their heart is, and what is in their heart. Agree to disagree.
2) No quizzes, community advertising, or cross-comm/journal drama linking. By the latter, I mean, don't post a link to another comm or journal for the "OMG can you believe this?!" purpose. Cross-linking for information sharing of the non OMGDRAMA! variety is fine.
3) Unless you've got a good reason for it (color-coding different speakers/ad-libbed comments in a post) use the default font settings for your posts and comments. No cutesy colors or forced font changes (exceptions: italics, bold, underline, and font size changes are all allowed in moderation, for the purpose of emphasizing, quoting, and storytelling.) The reason for this is that not everyone has an easy time with reading, and forcing an alteration of their font settings can render your post illegible.
4) No chatspeak or l33t speak. If you use it for exaggeration purposes, keep it in moderation. (e.g., I'm tired of going into a church and when I admit to not wanting children, people react like "OMG u sik ev0l chyuld h8r!!1one!11!") Yes, I'm rather draconian on using netspeak in regular text. I'm a writer with a love for literature, and this is a severe pet peeve of mine.
5) Don't feed the trolls. If you find an obvious or suspected troll, do not comment on the post, but rather, grab a link and leave a comment somewhere to kuchenhexe for a heads-up, and the troll will be investigated, and the post/comments removed, possibly with the user banned.
6) I won't say 'no ranting', but rants must be on-topic. They must center around being a Christian in a Childfree lifestyle, or a Childfree person in the Christian community. And I also request two things regarding rants: 1) Keep vulgarity to a minimum. I know when ranting, sometimes things slip, but do refrain from using phrases where four letter words can be used to replace 'blank', like so: "that blanking blankity blank blank, how blanking dare that blanking blank blank tell me..." 2) Remember that if someone is ranting, they are upset and frustrated. If you find yourself choosing to feel offended by any descriptions or words used, remind yourself that it is a less destructive form of release than many. If you're someone who can be calm and polite when upset and outraged, good for you. Not everyone was created with the ability to be that way.
7) Last but not least, do not try to moderate the community unless I've chosen you to be a moderator. Do not make posts along the lines of "I think the community should be this way and not that way because I say so." They infuriate me and the other mods on childfree, they're not going to make me happy here either. If you have a problem, the moderator(s) are listed below. That's why we're here.
COMMUNITY MODERATORS Maintainer: kuchenhexe Co-Moderators: none needed yet.